


Holding Peace

by dammitspawk



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2108946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dammitspawk/pseuds/dammitspawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rodney had first hold him he had bought a ring for Jennifer, John wasn’t really fazed. He figured this proposal would go just about as well as the last had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Peace

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything like this before and probably won't again (too painful for me) but this idea wouldn't leave me alone.

When Rodney had first hold him he had bought a ring for Jennifer, John wasn’t really fazed. He figured this proposal would go just about as well as the last had. They had been dating for a year and that little worm of perhaps wanting to settle had made it back into Rodney’s mind. John had given him a pat on the back, a beer and a forced, cheerful, “Congrats buddy, hopefully this one will go better than the last.” They had both laughed it off on their way to the pier even though John was counting on the opposite.

 John however wasn’t right this time. Rodney has successfully pulled off the proposal this time, Jennifer had happily said yes and they sealed it with a kiss. After a little while of Keller flashing her brilliant diamond around every space in Atlantis they had come up with a date. Jennifer wanted the most picture-perfect wedding imaginable, back on Earth. Rodney seemed to comply to anything that would make her happy, and it wasn’t long before a venue and invitations came with that date.

 This is when Rodney came to his room one night with a few Canadian beers in his hand and a question. He waited until they were settled on the pier to ask John to be his best man. Saying yes was probably the most painful thing John could remember ever doing. As Rodney smiled he swallowed down a lump that threatened tears but kept a smile that matched Rodney’s in everything but heart.

 And as he stood beside Rodney while his soon-to-be wife walked up the aisle towards them John’s mind went into a panic but his body stayed as still as a metal beam. When the priest asked if there were any objections John bit his tongue to assure himself to hold his peace. Forever was a long time, but for Rodney John would do anything, even if it caused him more pain than an Iratus bug attached to his neck and a billion Nanites in his brain at the same time.

 The rest of the afternoon went passed in a blur. John didn’t say much, but it didn’t really matter since not many people paid attention to him anyway. Teyla had caught his eyes a few times though, her gaze was sympathetic and supportive. Of course she knew, John shouldn’t have been so stupid as to think he could hide something like this from her. After all she was the closest person to him other than Rodney and maybe Ronon. She filled the role of a sister and knew just as much about him.

 When Rodney turned to him at their table at the dinner reception with worry in his eyes John’s heart leapt.

 “Are you alright John? You look a little… uneasy. You’re not sick or anything are you because I made sure that the food-“

 “I’m fine Rodney,” John mustered up a smile, “I’m just… Really happy for you buddy.”

And when Rodney was back talking and laughing with his new wife, biggest smile John had seen on his face since they had left Atlantis, maybe just maybe John thought that wasn’t entirely a lie. At least there was someone making Rodney as happy as he could be, even if it wasn’t (and never would be) John. There was still the nagging voice at the back of his head saying he should have said something all those months back when Rodney had come to his room with a shiny new ring not yet on anyone’s finger, as Rodney looked at him as they cut their wedding cake. The voice never went away, as hard as he pushed it down, even when his best friend looked to him while telling Woolsey of his resignation, while stepping through the gate for quite possibly the last time, or while holding his newborn daughter in his arms for the first time.

After all, forever was a long time to hold your peace. Longer still when it is the most painful thing you’ve ever done.


End file.
